iLive My Life
by littlemissmb
Summary: Just like that, I was watching the girl who had kept me out of prison on so many occasions and who had made me a better person, my sister, climb into the car with her dad and drive away. As I was waiting at the traffic lights that 4 years ago I would have ran, I could only think one thing. 'Good on you Carly.' - What happens to Sam, Freddie, Spencer and Gibbys lives after iGoodbye
1. iThrow A Party

It was hard watching my best friend cry; I wasn't sure what else I could do to make her feel better. Spencer was sitting at 105 temperature and the sight of Freddie and Gibby all dressed up had reduced Carly to tears yet again. While I couldn't understand why she was getting herself so worked up over a dance, it obviously meant a lot to Carls so it meant a lot to me too.

'I don't want to go to that dance with anyone..' I didn't hear what else Carly said because movement had caught my attention, Freddie nudging me in the ribs confirmed that I hadn't eaten a bad batch of meatballs and was now seeing things.

She looked up at us as if to check that we weren't playing some cruel joke on her. I instinctively nodded towards were Mr Shay was standing. The next few minutes passed by fairly quickly but the happiness that had illuminated my best friend, had resparked the happiness I had felt ten minutes ago riding the bike that Spencer had given me. Honestly I was still trying to wrap my head around that one. Suddenly they were gone leaving me and the 3 boys standing in the lounge room of the apartment.

'So.. You're dad made it after all.' Freddie stated excitedly to Spencer as he plonked himself on the couch.

'Thank you captain obvious.' I couldn't help it. After years of tormenting the boy it was a habit to have sarcastic comments waiting for every word that came out of his mouth. Even after dating him for a brief period of time.

I made my way towards the fridge in search of ham. 'Hey you know what this calls for?' Gibby looked around at all of us. We all stared at him waiting. As Gibby does he failed to respond.

'Well?' Spencer looked at him expectantly.

Gibby looked genuinely surprised that someone was speaking to him 'Well what?' Sometimes I had to seriously refrain from hurting that boy. I was trying to be good these days. My parole officer said that if I tried to avoid violent outbursts then I had a slightly higher chance of staying out of Juvey, if only slightly.

'Well what does this call for Dumbo.' I snapped. It was the best I could do.

Gibby looked to Freddie who didn't even seem the tiniest bit surprised. 'You see the way she talks to me?' He looked at Spence. 'A crazy hat, spaghetti taco party!'

'Hey that's a great idea Gib!' I smiled, my excitement rising thinking about the delicious taco's that tasted like heaven in a shell.

'I'll go get supplies.' Gibby called over his shoulder as he strolled out the door.

'I'll go get the hats from the prop closet in the studio' Freddie stood; silently I followed him to the elevator.

I was watching him sort through the hats from my space by the prop car. There was a little something nudging away at my mind and I felt like I had to clear things up between us. I turned to face him and lent back against the car. 'Hey you know before when I called you and said I had something important to talk to you about?'

Freddie visibly stiffened before turning to face me. 'Yeah?'

I swallowed. The guy might be the biggest dork I know but he was still one of my closest friends. I needed things to be good between us. 'You asked if I wanted to get back together.'

Suddenly the possum hat in his hand couldn't be more interesting to him. 'Yeah, I was only being stupid.'

I raised an eyebrow at him. When he wasn't looking at me I couldn't tell if he was lying or not. 'Freddie.'

He looked up at me. 'Look, I was trying to be a smartass ok? If I'm being honest.. I guess I'm still kind of sitting around waiting for Carly to notice me. We tried it and we failed. Miserably. I mean I really did like you, especially when you-'

'Ok we don't need to go there.' I could feel my cheeks reddening and that had only happened with one other guy. It was no secret I had always had a minor crush on Spence. 'I just wanted to make sure there were no loose ends with us. We good?'

Freddie chuckled to himself 'Yeah, were good.'


	2. iGoodbye

'Carly!' Mr Shay was struggling to get a word in edge wise with Carly throwing ideas about what they could do while he was in town. Everyone feel silent and waited for him to continue. 'I'm leaving tonight.'

The silence was eerie. 'Wow. Way to bring us all down.' Of course Gibby had to be the first to say something.

I knew the look on Carly's face, it was the look she had when she was trying as hard as she could to not burst into tears. 'But.. you can't leave tonight..'

'Sorry, the need me back at the base in Italy tomorrow.' He tossed his hat onto the couch beside him.

'But..thats not fair.' Carly started to walk away, like she does when she's finding it particularly difficult to control the tears. I looked to Spencer, he looked just as defeated as Carly felt but just like always he would put on a brave face and be the adult that Carly needed. 'You just got here!' Carly tried to reason.

'Come on! This is supposed to be a happy night!' I didn't know what it was like to have a dad but I would rather have no dad than a dad I got to see for 3 hours every four years.

I knew Carly was talking but the only part I heard was Mr Shay 'Then come with me.' I had to look to T-Bo and Freddie to make sure I had heard that right. Across the room I could tell Gibby was looking to Spence and Spence to Gibby. I guess we were all a little shocked by that sudden bombshell. My mind started going over everything, if she went, there would be no more iCarly. No more between class chats at our lockers. No more hiding place after school or fridge full of ham to raid. No more three musketeers, not that I would ever tell anyone that I thought of our little click like that.

'Sam?'

'Ha dude! If my dad asked me to spend some time in Italy I'd say… well first I'd say "oh so you're my dad.." and then I'd go!'

'But.. what about iCarly?' I could tell she was dying to say yes. She just didn't want to let anyone else down.

'The internet will still be here when you get back.'

'Im going to Italy!'

4 minutes. That's how long it took my best friend to decide she was

Freddie was up stairs packing up all the technical stuff. Gibby was in the bathroom smelling the liquid soap and Carly was up in her room packing. Me and Spencer sat on the couch and just starred at the blank TV screen.

'Wow.' Is the only word I could think of.

'You're telling me. Now whose going to keep me sane.'

'Go talk to her Spence.' I looked over at him.

'I don't know what to say. How do I say goodbye to a little girl?' He looked back in my direction.

'Shes not a little girl anymore. She's 18 in three months and you don't. Because it's not goodbye. Go, tell her how you feel.' He pushed himself up off the couch and made his way upstairs to say his goodbyes.

The next few hours passed by in a blur and then just like that, I was watching the girl who had kept me out of prison on so many occasions and who had made me a better person, my sister, climb into the car with her dad and drive away.

I walked slowly back around to the alley behind the building and grab my motorcycle.

As I was waiting at the traffic lights that 4 years ago I would have ran, I could only think one thing. 'Good on you Carly.'


	3. iFell Asleep

I could hear my phone ringing somewhere in the distance. It was getting louder, no not louder, closer. I forced my eyes to open and saw my phone lighting up on my bedside table. Still half asleep I reached over to grab it.

'Hello?' I mumbled into the device that had disturbed my wonderful dream of a meat party.

'Sam?' I knew that voice from somewhere..wait.. I sat up now wide awake.

'Spencer?' I asked somewhat shocked. It had been 2 weeks since Carly left and I had tried to get in touch with Spencer a couple of times to no avail.

'Sam I need your help..' My legs were already over the edge of my bed but now I was up and getting dressed.

'What's up?' I asked as I threw on my jacket and grabbed my keys to the sterling.

'Um.. I may or may not be stuck in Los Angelos..'

'I'm on my way.' I went to hang up but he had already started talking again.

'No! Sam I only wanted you to go to my place and get my savings and wire me it so I can get a bus home.' He started to protest.

Now I really did hang up on him. I grabbed my helmet and scribbled a quick note for my mum. She might be pretty useless but she had been trying the last year or so I had been making an effort to try as well.

The wind was crisp and chilly at 3 in the morning, especially on the bike but I was pleasantly surprised to find that I liked it.

When I got to L.A I found that I had 7 missed calls, 6 from Spencer and 1 from Freddie. First I called back Freddie while I parked my bike up outside a gas station.

'Sam? Where are you? I just got a call from Spencer he wants to know if I know where you are, he wants you to come over and break me into his apartment. He's stuck in L.A'

'I know. I'm there now.'

'There.. at his apartment? I don't see you? Sam have you broken in already?!'

'No, there being L.A' I noticed my voice gave the impression that it was the most obvious thing in the world but I could tell he was sitting in shock on the other end.

'Oh, alrighty then. Well.. um.. I guess I'll see you when you guys get back.' The line went dead.

Dialling spencers number it barley rang once before he picked up. 'Sam? Where are you? Did you fall back asleep?'

'I am outside a gas station in L.A. were about's are you?' I pulled the beef jerky out of my pocket and started nibbling at it.

It took him a few seconds to get over his shock but finally he managed to splutter out the address and off I was again.

We were sitting at a table outside a smoothie shop and we had been sipping in silence for over ten minutes. I was already onto my second smoothie and we hadn't said a word to each other. This was the first time we had seen each other since the night Carly left for Italy.

'You didn't have to ride all the way to L.A' Spencer finally spoke as he set down his smoothie on the table in front of him.

I shrugged. 'It's all good; I needed a long ride to break this baby in anyway.' I motioned to the Sterling he had given me only 2 weeks prior. 'Now do you want to explain to me why you're in L.A?' I raised an eyebrow at him as I leant back in my chair.

He lent forward and had both hands flying in different directions as he started explaining. 'The apartment felt too empty. I couldn't sleep so I decided to take a walk-'

'To Los Angelos?' I asked sarcastically. Then I realised that knowing Spencer this was actually very much a possibility.

His laughter took me by surprise. 'No, I walked to this bar and I met these guys! Who said they would give me a lift home... I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up my wallet was gone and I was in a park in Los Angelos. I don't think they knew where I lived.'

'Oh Spence.' Even when bad stuff happened to him, which was rather regularly, he still had such a good attitude about life. It was something I envied. I put my empty smoothie cup on the table in front of me picked up my helmet and handed Spencer my spare helmet and the keys.

'What..?'

'I'm tired.' I shrugged. Honestly though, I was suddenly feeling very, very ill.

I trusted Spencer on a motorcycle; he was always smooth and careful, unlike the rest of his life. I had to keep reminding myself that it was so incredibly dangerous to fall asleep on a moving motorbike but I could feel myself slipping into that empty void of dreamland. I tightened my grip around Spencer's waist and tried to keep myself awake as long as possible…

'Sam?' I could hear someone talking to me I knew it was Spencer but I was so tired I didn't even care. 'Sam we're back home.. are you asleep?!'

'mhmm' I murmured and drifted back off.

I could feel him lifting me up. Instinctively my arms wrapped around his neck and I snuggled into his chest. Spencer always smelt good but the way he smelt now was heavenly. I felt like I was sleeping on a bed of clouds and all the most delicious foods in the world.

I could feel him putting me down on something soft but I didn't want to let go, I was comfortable before. 'Don't..go..' I mumbled through the sleep. I then felt blankets being placed over me but I was too far gone to care now.

Time slipped past and I don't know how long I slept for but when I woke up I was in Carly's room. Spencer was sitting on the edge of the bed with a wet cloth that he was just taking away from my forehead. I tried to sit up but I felt so tired that I collapsed. 'How long was I out?' I mumbled.

'A couple of days. I called your mum to let her know.' He stopped dabbing with the cloth. 'How are you feeling?' He looked genuinely concerned for my wellbeing. That's something I had always liked about Spencer. He genuinely cared for me and Freddie not just Carly.

'Fine I just feel..' I struggled to find a word

'Weak?' he suggested. Nodding I gave a weak smile.

'Thank you for looking after me. You should have just told my mum to come get me.'

'Nah, it's alright. I miss having someone to look after. I think it's going to take a fair bit of time to get used to living alone. I've had Carly so long I can't imagine life without her.'

I knew what he was saying. Carly had been with Spencer alone since their mum had died when Carly was 9, Spencer was 17.

I think that was the main reason I had always had a crush on him. He had sacrificed so much to look after Carly.

Plus how could you not with that goofy grin of his and those big brown eyes.

'How would you like to come down and watch some telly with me?' he asked and I realised I must have been silent for a while and the silence must have gotten awkward.

'Yes sure, if we can watch Celebrities underwater.'

'Oh! I LOVE that show.' Suddenly without asking or offering to just steady me downstairs I was being thrown over Spencer's shoulder and rushed downstairs.

'Spencer!' I screamed the whole way down the stairs.


End file.
